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“I pray that the eyes of your heart may be enlightened, so that you will know what is the hope of His calling, what are the riches of the glory of His inheritance in the saints.” Ephesians 1:18
I have blind eyes. Not these eyes that see the snow falling and melting on a day in May or the way the blackbird’s head shimmers like teal taffeta.
It’s my heart’s eyes that are blind and, probably, yours are too.
We see mountains and think we’ve got to move them. And we feel as though our faith somehow fails when we speak to that mountain and it doesn’t move. So we try harder but doubt grows.
Loss overwhelms us and we believe that acknowledging our pain is somehow exhibiting a lack of faith. Or we screw up and look for something or someone to blame, forgetting that faith grows in repentance.
A skews perception of life and love cause our heart’s eyes to grow blind. We will falter without knowing God as love. If we don’t rest in the fact that his crazy, impassioned love is directed towards us, we will fail. We will stay stuck in the cycle of the try-harder kind of life.
But the try-harder kind of life isn’t the transformed kind of life. It is a blind kind of life.
Grace transforms us. It isn’t there to pat us on the head while we live in our sin and filth. It’s there to transform us into a truer reflection of God himself. Grace helps us to lay “self” down and guides us to live a Spirit-led life.
But that blindness of the heart? It prevents us from seeing how God works all things for our good and his glory.
Our mountains may actually be a place to meet with God, and our storms may be just the thing needed to sweep the landscape of our heart clean. The refiner’s fire might be what’s needed to burn the dross away.
But sometimes I don’t want to see that the pain I’m experiencing is for my benefit or the swirling, twirling unsettledness is for my good. And so I go blind. I become blind to seeing how God is working and moving.
I fail to look for him in my circumstances and to see that He is only good. Then I dismiss the revelation that He is only light because when I choose to look at just the darkness, that’s all I see.
God is love. He is light. But we sometimes cannot see this because our pain supersedes the truth. Our circumstances overshadow his love, and we make God small in our eyes and our circumstances large. We go blind.
But we don’t have to stay in the place of heart blindness. We can see love because God is love and when we ask, he will open our eyes to see it. His love transforms because he calls us to repentance and redemption.
Imagine looking at your mountain with eyes wide open to the hope and love that’s yours in God because he’s bigger than your circumstance. This battle for sight is a daily battle, but the peace that comes when we can see his love and know his love brings a sense of security and safety that carries us through darkness into sight.
Oh Lord, Help me to see you in the mountain that seems to stand in my way. When I’m in the refiner’s fire, help me to seek out your face and to hold deeply to the trust that swells in my heart when I finally see you. God, you are my sight, help me to see. Let me see you as bigger than any circumstance that I face and to trust you as you take me through it. I give my heart and my sight to you and so I see. In Jesus’ name, Amen.