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Psalm 77:1-2 – I cry aloud to God, aloud to God, and he will hear me.
In the day of my trouble I seek the Lord;
in the night my hand is stretched out without wearying; my soul refuses to be comforted.
You know the pain, deep down, gut-wrenching, take your breath away, heart-racing kind of pain that you feel from receiving bad news. I remember this kind of pain and sorrow very clearly on the day we found out that my 4-month-old son would have to endure chemotherapy treatment, as the doctors sat there showing us the most recent MRI images. The five benign tumors had multiplied within 3 months to more than they could actually count. As I stared at the screen, each image they showed seem to capture a black spot on his bone where there should have been white.
My heart sank to the floor and at the same time cried out to the Lord, “Why this little baby? Why not me?”. As I got up from my chair, holding my son close, we drove home in silence. No words could describe the emotions we felt. It was just silent.
Have you ever felt like the psalmist did in Psalm 77:1-2, where your heart cried out, your soul felt restless, and it felt like silence in return? I did. The pain is real because you can feel the physical effects of it, your soul wrestles with thoughts of anger, sadness, and grief, yet you just want it to be relieved? Thankfully, this is not where the story ended and neither does Psalm 77. If you keep reading Psalm 77, the psalmist goes on to say in verse 11-12, ” I will remember the deeds of the Lord; yes I will remember your wonders of old. I will ponder all your work and meditate on your mighty deeds.” You see the psalmist felt the silence, the turmoil and pain of his heart continue to wrestle inside of him, yet he started to recall all that God had done and the mighty works of his Savior’s hands.
It is in the painful moments where it seems that God is silent that we have to focus in on who He is and what He has done. It is what speaks light into the darkest of days by bringing us hope, peace, and life, into the hardest of times that we walk through. It helps us turn our focus away from the evil, pain, and suffering in this world and look to the only One who is capable of healing, bringing us true peace, and love that gives our souls life again.
Lord, as we cry our hearts out to you in those moments of pain and sorrow, we pray that you would allow us to feel your presence. Give us hearts that come to you even when it seems there is silence. Turn our eyes to the wonders of your Creation, turn our hearts to sing your praise, let us remember your ways of old, let us rejoice in the God of our salvation. Let your light shine through amidst the darkest of our days. In your name, we pray, Amen.