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Do you ask yourself at times, what is my purpose?
As we enter into the gift of motherhood, from working or going to school or whatever you did before motherhood, sometimes that change can make you feel lost in your sense of purpose. Times where you feel lost in the everyday mundane tasks.
This has been the question, that I have been asking over and over in my head lately. You know those deep dark conversations you have in the early morning hours or before you go into a deep sleep. I have often had these conversations with the Lord. In these times, He has placed some big dreams in my heart that I feel called to. I keep getting ahead of myself thinking that these dreams will happen in my timing and that I’m in control – but I am not!
It is in these moments where I’m trying to do more than I should be doing at that moment, that Jesus gently reminds me to wait.
Waiting, well it is hard. In this day of age, we like to see immediate results. So learning to wait – well it’s difficult for me. Although, I believe it is good for my heart and soul to learn this, even when it is hard.
The Lord is always teaching us and growing us, and that is where I am now. The one thing that he has been reminding and teaching me most recently, is the need to fight for joy. In the everyday mundane tasks of being a wife, mothering, keeping up with the house, and other tasks – he has been opening my eyes to see where joy can come in.
This fight for joy has changed my view on motherhood. There are seasons where you just feel lost in the everyday survival. But my dear friends we have been given the most important job ever.
Stepping out and opening my eyes, I am seeing that motherhood is a gift. God has given me the task of fighting and has shown me what my purpose is. My battlefield and mission that Christ has given me are right here in front of me and it’s my home.
We have been called to raise up children, in the way they should go. To be an advocate, on Christ’s behalf for them by teaching them about Him. The field I have been called is not on the other side of the world, or in Africa. It is my own sons.
As moms, who are believers – don’t we want our kids to know everything about the God we love and yearn for. I can often time forget this but the last week or so God has shown me my purpose at this time. It is to be his hands and feet within my home. To show my boys, the love of Christ even amid the messiness of my own life. I am to teach them about Christ and what best to do this through modeling what it looks like to trust Him.
My eyes have been opened to see my boys in a different light – not just as my sons, who at times can tempt my patience, but as children who are in need of a King.
Now, before everyone is like but what about my dreams he has placed on my heart – or the path he has called me to currently. I believe that God calls us all to specific paths in his own time. He leads us where we are to go and opens the door, as long as we obey and follow. Even if you work full time I believe that you can tell your children it is because the Lord has called you to be where you are and we are called to obey Him. We can still work in the mission field of our home.
For today, though, I trust that the dreams he has placed on my heart and the path to walk will be fulfilled in His time, and in His way, not mine. Right now, my mission is to pour all I have and all I’m learning about Jesus into my own home. To show love when it is hard. To be patient and listen. To be slow to anger and in my reactions. To be honest with my kids, teaching them that mommy is a sinner in desperate need of Jesus. To show them how much Jesus did for me and how much I don’t deserve anything, yet Jesus gave me everything as he offered Himself up for my sins.
It’s in these young years, where kids soak up the most – before they go and leave home for school. Dear friend, this is the time to teach our kids, just as the Father is constantly teaching us.
There is so much I do not know and will never understand until I’m gone but I know this – that even in my messiness, I want to point it all back to my need for Christ and live that out for my boys.
So today, if you feel lost in your purpose. In the everyday mundane tasks of motherhood, I encourage you to pray that the Lord would open your eyes to the mission He is calling you to. That you would have eyes to see your children in the way He sees them. My prayer is that we use this blessing of motherhood to raise up disciples in His name.