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“Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths,
but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion,
that it may give grace to those who hear.”
So you wouldn’t be human if you never had things come out of your mouth
that only made things worse for you and your spouse.
The question is where does the garbage come from and how can the atmosphere of your home
go from tame to toxic and suddenly overflow with a spirit of criticism in little more than a nano-second?
Jesus’ own answer was to look no further than our heart (Matthew 15:18-19)
for that is where we encounter the real culprit behind a mouth gone critical.
If you have never been formally introduced, allow me . . meet Insecurity.
The sinister truth about insecurity is that as the antithesis to Ephesians 4:29,
it necessarily always drives one to verbally tear down their spouse to feel better about themselves
AND it is dominated by ingratitude (or what I call “un-praise” to God)
which is most often expressed through a critical spirit
that weighs everything the other spouse does or does not do
against an imaginary and unattainable level of perfection.
Desperate to break the curse of criticism in your marriage today?
Good news: God has already given us 5 unique sets of feelings
that should serve as insecurity warning lights on our marital dashboard . .
and He has already provided a path towards a relationship
that is filled with compassion and understanding vs criticism and undermining.
Familiar with any of Insecurity’s 5 Warning Lights?
Warning Light #1: Guilt – the feeling of “I owe you”
Warning Light #2: Anger – the feeling of “You owe me”
Warning Light #3: Greed – the feeling of “I owe me”
Warning Light #4: Jealousy – the feeling of “Life/God owes me”
Warning Light #5: Unloved – the feeling of “I owe God”
If we struggle with the “I owe you” saturated feeling of guilt
over our own shortcomings towards our mate,
then we know that nothing is better for the soul than confession (James 5:16)
If we struggle with the “You owe me” feeling of anger
over the shortcomings of our spouse,
then we know that nothing is better for the soul than forgiveness (Ephesians 4:32)
If we struggle with the “I owe me” feeling of greed and the insatiable longing for more,
then we know that nothing is better for the soul
than giving from a spirit of generosity (Proverbs 11:25; Luke 6:38)
If we struggle with the “Life/God owes me” feeling of jealousy and insufficiency
in comparison to the success of others in terms of career stability, finances, achievement or marital happiness,
then we know that nothing is better for the soul than celebrating
the goodness and gifts of God (Matthew 7:11; James 1:17)
If we struggle with the “I owe God” feeling of being unloved and unlovable,
then we know that nothing is better for the soul than immersing ourselves
in God’s great big love letter, the Bible, and planting ourselves at the foot of the cross
where He gave His one and only Son – receive Him there on His terms alone: grace (1 John 3:1; John 1:12)
5 simple words: confess, forgive, give, celebrate . . and most importantly, receive.
Got grace? If not, why not let grace get a hold of you?
You have to know it . . to show it.
“Lord you are my strength and my shield; my heart trusts in You, and You help me.
My heart leaps for joy, and with my song I praise You. Amen”
How is God encouraging you today?