The Dirt on Leading

When I was little, I watched my elders, my teachers, coaches, parents..pretty much anyone older than me, and thought, “I can’t wait to be in charge of myself. It must be nice to be able to tell someone what to do rather than being told.” I thought this is what it meant to be an adult. I thought this is what it meant to lead.

Now I’m that “elder,” I’ve learned that’s not what leadership is about. There’s a difference between leading and being in charge. There’s a difference between leading and dictating. The wise lead by example, but the foolish lead with their mouths.

Have you ever watched the show Undercover Boss? The enticement of this drama is that it takes the suit-and-tie CEO out of the office and puts him or her to work. This brilliant concept is obviously uncomfortable for the boss, but it forces him or her to see his ideas and policies at work. They are able to see the product of their dreams through the eyes of the people who labor to bring them to fruition. This exercise helps “the boss” discover what policies and processes need to be adjusted.

In a thriving organization, responsibilities are ever increasing. As a leader, it’s tempting to disconnect from the people you’re leading to stay on top and work harder. A certain amount of disconnect is necessary so that we’re not hovering; we can do our job and they can do theirs. However, too much disconnect gives our mind’s eye a false perception of the organization and the people we’re leading. People only follow a disconnected leader for so long before their hearts either start to worship or resent said leader.

Truly courageous leaders are brave enough to investigate their organization’s weakness because they know a weakness in his or her organization may be a reflection of his or her leadership. Weak leaders avoid their people, while strong ones are willing to associate and serve them. The wise lead by example, but the foolish lead with their mouths.

Consider Jesus’ life. He was willing to eat with tax collectors and sinners, to sit by a well and talk to a Samaritan woman (an outcast), to make a journey across the Sea of Galilee to deliver a demon-possessed man, to wrestle with a stubborn leader named Jacob, to bargain with Abraham over Lot’s life, to save a woman caught in adultery from death, to restore Peter when he chose cowardice over bravery, and to serve us by dying a torturous death. Jesus’ life example led the New Testament believers and it still leads us today. I wonder what message our lives are sending to the people around us?

Here’s the truth:

  • Leading people is messy because we are sinners.
  • Leading people is stressful because we want to succeed.
  • Leading people is confusing because we doubt ourselves.
  • Leading people feels impossible because we’re all capable of failure.

Here’s an even greater truth:

  • Even the son of man did not come to be served, but to give His life as a ransom for many. Mark 10:45
  • Leading isn’t about being served, but serving. This is a harder way to lead, but produces a greater team which yields healthier fruit.
  • Leading isn’t about me paving a path for others to walk through, but about finding the right people to pave it with you.

Whew! I know this is a heavy blog, but leadership is hard and we have to talk about hard things sometimes in order to become better servers! What do you think? I want to hear your thoughts, so let’s discuss.

Please know I will be praying you move forward in your faith (and in your serving) until next time!


Sharie’s latest book released in July of 2017. In I Love You More (Except When I Don’t)..Fighting to Keep Jesus First, author and speaker Sharie King shares the common struggle women have in yearning to love Jesus more and yet, feeling incapable as they try. Telling personal stories and teaching Scripture throughout, Sharie challenges women to set aside striving and embrace God’s way of grace instead. She’ll not only encourage you that you can love Jesus more; she’ll show you how.

You can purchase ILYM through Amazon and the Store on Sharie’s website!

About the author : Sharie King

Sharie King

Sharie and her husband, Clayton, founded Clayton King Ministries serving together for 20 years. Clayton King Ministries exists to serve the local church, to preach the gospel and make disciples. Sharie fulfills this calling by traveling and speaking at colleges, churches and various events and in her writing career.

Sharie has written four books, co-authoring two with Clayton; 12 Questions to Ask Before You Marry and The Beauty and the Mystery. She and Clayton partnered with Lifeway to develop a curriculum for students called True Love Project, which was recognized by Christian Retailers as the Best Non-Fiction in 2015! Sharie wrote a devotion for girls, 40 Days of Purity for Girls (which compliments True Love Project), which is selling like hotcakes.

Sharie has just finished a book which has been a dream in the making for five+ years. I Love You More (except when I don’t), Fighting to Make Jesus First released on July 7th, 2017. This book is about how to surrender our insecurities to Jesus so we can love Him more.

Sharie is wife to Clayton, mother to Jacob and Joseph and a cute toy poodle named Theo. She loves art and painting, skiing (water and snow), hiking followed by a spa day, and a good book.

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