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Infertility wasn’t something I worried about as a newlywed. With the confident assurance of youth, I assumed Dennis and I would have children when we were ready. I’m sure you know what people say about making assumptions! As month followed month, and year followed year with no baby in sight, friends gave me advice-
As we explored medical answers and got none, I turned to God with questions. I just wanted to know why? What was wrong?
Why was infertility happening to me?
Now God doesn’t always give us an answer, but you’ve got to understand infertility the way God does. He knew I wasn’t going to stop asking!
“There are three things that will not be satisfied, four that will not say, “Enough”:
the barren womb,
the thirsty desert,
the blazing fire.” Proverbs 30:15b-16
I believe in taking God at His word, and since Jesus clearly said we are to ask Him and keep on asking, I did just that. As my prayer journal from the time will attest, I prayed every day about my infertility, many times a day! I dug into the Bible, and looked at women in its pages who’d suffered as I did. Gradually, God began opening my eyes to some key truths:
Godly people suffer.
God uses suffering to mature us in faith.
God uses suffering to teach us to trust His loving goodness.
Honestly, I can’t tell you how many times I put my requests for a child before the Lord, but slowly I started to see the issue differently. One day, reading through the Psalms, I read that all those without faith have to look forward to is leaving their worldly goods to their children, but those who love the Lord will “behold His face in righteousness.” Comprehension of that blessed hope changed the course of my prayers for children. Instead of asking for children once again, I put my Bible down and asked God not to give me any children unless they would put their faith in Jesus Christ. My inner motivations for wanting children were being refined by the pain of infertility in the capable hands of the Holy Spirit.
God is more concerned with our character becoming like Christ’s, than our comfort.
He loves us enough to say “no” to some things in this life, so that He can give us greater things for eternity.
Finally, one month I came to the place of victory. Once again, the answer was “no,” but for the first time, I was able to truly praise God because His “no” was His best for me. Certain of His love, my tears dried and my heart was filled with hope. Not even two months later, we brought home our first daughter, Lindsey Kathryn. Through a series of incredible events, God orchestrated an adoption that took only weeks.
God used infertility to make me a mother.
If you’re going through infertility, I can’t promise you that you’ll become a mother. But I can promise you, that if you keep on turning to Jesus, He will help you. How do I know that?
Original photograph by Alyssa Mench