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Tears streamed down my cheeks …
as I sat within my gray-walled room. “How could they, God? Why did they fail to show Your love during this time?” It was one of those bone cold, Colorado days when I had been informed of the actions of some Christians in my life. Their actions had, in fact, been soul-crushingly painful, causing distrust to build up within. Their actions brought about no desire to go back into a church building, let alone trust any Christian again. Walls were quickly built around my heart as I attempted to protect the broken remains of myself.
We have all been hurt by Christians in one way or another, whether you trusted someone in your weakness and were trampled upon, or you asked a leader for guidance and they failed to shepherd you, or you received a harsh word from a Christian friend.
As I have walked through heartbreak …
caused by other Believers, the Lord has graciously brought to remembrance a few points about Christians.
- Christians are not perfect– not your parents, not leaders, not even yourself.
- It is helpful to remind yourself that they fall short daily just as you do.
- Remember the times that you have caused heartbreak in others.
- Even with the pain, you are commanded to not forsake meeting with other believers. (Heb. 10:25)
- If another caused your hurt, please approach them and inform them of their actions. Often the most hurtful wounds were unintentional.
- If they are unwilling to work towards restitution, either forgive them and move on or Biblically handle their reactions. (Matt. 18:15-17)
- You are not ‘married’ to one church. If a church is not willing to walk in restoration, you have freedom to change churches. I found a community and loving Christians that I would not have found if I was ‘bound’ to the previous church I was attending.
- If a church is unwilling to make restoration and continue causing harm, it is not spiritually healthy to stay within that church body. It will cause emotional and spiritual harm to yourself and to others under your charge.
Some practical ways
to bring about healing
when you have been hurt …
- Don’t run from God just because His children have burned holes within your soul.
- Use this as a step of learning how NOT to treat others.
- Read and pray all the more.
- This is a time that the enemy wants to bring about lies. Be on guard against anger, bitterness, and resentment of those who have harmed you.
- Write a letter to the person who has caused pain. You may or may not send it to them. However, getting your thoughts on paper can often help bring healing and forgiveness.
Be willing to be open with others again. This can be one of the hardest things to do. We, as humans, are often afraid to be genuine, especially after our backs have been stabbed. Yet this is where true freedom and trust can be found again.
How is God encouraging you today?