I sit with the contents of my baggage lying about.
The years of control, co-dependency, self-blame, regret, sadness, grief, and pain are strewn around. I am attempting to sort through it all. I have completed Step Four and made a searching and fearless moral inventory of myself. And here I sit. Still and a little apprehensive about what I know I need to do now.
Step Five is where the healing begins to form.
I am to admit to God, to myself, and to another human being the exact nature of my wrongs. Can I do this? Do I have the strength for it? I look up to the heavens and begin my prayer to God. The tears move slowly down my cheek as I confess my mistakes and where I have wronged people in my life.
Admitting I am wrong is a difficult thing to do. If I admit I am wrong, then that also means I no longer have control over it, right? Well, exactly. That is the point isn’t it? I am not in control. I never have been. We learned this in Step Three. So now what? Now, I do as James tells me in 5:16
“Therefore, confess your sins to one another, and pray for one another so that you may be healed. The effective prayer of a righteous man can accomplish much.”
There may be conflicting opinions on who wrote this book of the Bible (either James son of Zebedee or James, Jesus’ half-brother), but regardless of who scribed the words, the truth is from God. We are to “confess [our] sins to one another…”. Now, I don’t know about you, but that is hard for me to do.
We, as humans, naturally want to keep our sins hidden.
This is not typically something we can openly share in casual conversation. No, this is where the mentor or sponsor that I trust comes into the picture for me again. She was there to help me through Step Four and I made my inventory list. Now it’s time for me to confess my sins to her. This is someone I trust and I know will keep the contents of my suitcase with her. She will not spill its contents for others to rummage through. I know she will also follow the guidance of the Scripture and “pray for one another so [we] may be healed.”
So, that’s what I do and that’s what we do. I confess my sins to her and she prays for me. I pray for her. We pray for each other. The healing begins for me and she is a part of it. Because, “the effective prayer of a righteous [woman] can accomplish much.”
The power of prayer is real. Prayer is our communion with God.
It’s the desire of His heart for me to talk to Him, confess my sins, and receive the forgiveness He gives me. God knows what I have attempted to keep hidden from him for what seems like my entire life, but by confessing them I begin to find freedom and my suitcase becomes lighter along my journey through recovery.
Think About It:
- Are you ready to make your confession to God? Why or why not?
- During your prayer time this week, confess the list you made last week to Him. Ask for forgiveness and open your heart to receive it. Thank Him for it.
- Make contact with your mentor or sponsor and share your list with her/him. Pray for each other.
- Read James 5:16, 1 John 1:9 and Proverbs 28:13.
Journal About it:
Write about how the questions and scriptures today resonated with you. As you write, thank Him for showing you the way in your journey.
Pray About it:
As you think and write, say this prayer with me.
I come to you today to confess the sins in my life. I lay these sins at your feet and ask for forgiveness of them. Help me to walk away from the sin and turn towards your love and light. Guide me in Your ways. Make me more like You. Thank you for forgiving me.
In Jesus’ name,
Talk About it:
I would love to hear from you! I enjoy connecting and keeping in touch. Do you feel as though you don’t have anyone you can share with confidentially? Your anonymity is protected. Do you feel you are the only one struggling with the aftereffects of growing up with an alcoholic parent? YOU are not alone! It’s time to break free from the shackles of your controlling habits, trust issues, co-dependency, guilt, self-blame, hurts, regrets, and heartaches! Your NEW Normal starts NOW!