Abstinence can seem like a pretty word that one can tie with a bow and send out to people. Despite popular belief or age, the lifestyle is easier said than done.
It’s possible that you may be living with what I call, “lust-hunt.” Lust-hunt is when your body, heart and mind are out of alignment. You’re ready to go at it full force one moment, and then praying to God that you can hold on until marriage the next. These are the times when you approach sex with someone as if they were a secret agent handling a classified file. “Your mission, should you choose to accept it…”
After a game of internal ping-pong, you say a silent prayer for strength, because without it – “this message will self-destruct in five seconds.”
You may be someone who wants to wait for love, but aren’t sure if you’re able to wait until marriage. That is a decision that I can’t make for you. In this case, in the very least, I truly hope that you wait for the right person and real love – a God-ordained love, not a false sense of love.
Keep this in mind: Having sex won’t automatically keep a relationship, and not having sex doesn’t mean a relationship will fail. Relationships can fail even when sex is a very active part of it.
As a virgin, it hasn’t been an easy journey. I don’t pretend to be an angel, though. There was a time when I suffered from lust-hunt. I had to release the strongholds that caused the lust-hunt in my life. I’ve been single – not even dating – since December 2015. Not focusing on finding “The One” has been extremely valuable! I didn’t want my new relationship to define me. I wanted it to be healthy on both sides. If I kept attracting the wrong ones, then I knew I had to become the right one.
During this time, I’ve been able to learn about who I am, and recognize how the hardships and negative experiences in my life have been the guiding posts of sorts, to a healthy purpose/destiny.
Now, when I’m married, I look forward to my husband and I being the right fit for each other sexually, mentally, spiritually and emotionally. We’ll be able to lust and hunt after each other freely!
With control, abstinence can become less of a fight and more of a power. The strength lies in your decision.
For those of you that are in the airplane in this lifestyle, here’s a lesson in abstinence skydiving!
HOW TO SKYDIVE:
1. Put On Your Parachute.
Abstinence is a negative or a positive based on your own perception of it, and yourself. Once you accept and love who you are, you’re able to bring that into your life, your dating experiences and your relationships.
A positive perspective about what’s right for you is important. You’re living in abstinence, but you have other things that make you uniquely you. You have talents, hobbies, dreams and goals. Don’t lose sight of them.
2. Secure Your Parachute.
Don’t treat yourself like a leper. You’re not any less attractive because of your decision. Remember, your decision may not be popular, but it’s also only a problem if you make it one. This also goes for whether or not the person has had more physical partners than you.
Male or female – if the person has turned their life around, be fair and don’t hold their sexual past against them. The older someone is, the more of a past they may have. If God has washed that person clean, do your best to not throw dirt on them.
When it comes to dating, you’re not able to control the actions of anyone else, but you can control yours and how you view yourself. Secure that great outlook of yourself. When you do that, you are securing your parachute.
Whether you’re helped out/pushed, take baby steps or jump freely, there comes a time when you will have to get out of the security of the airplane.
You have to step outside of your home, your comfort zone and give yourself a chance to experience something greater than the door you may be hiding behind, out of fear of not meeting the right person.
Ladies and Gents –
The best thing to do in the beginning of any new lesson, is to develop what you know, use what you have, and go from there. Put On Your Parachute, Secure Your Parachute and Jump!
With heart, Ty