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Isn’t it easy to fight discouragement when you’re dealing with disappointments? Or even easy to get mad at God? Have you ever had a trial-laced-situation land in your lap that caused you to miss out?
- you’re a caregiver
- you didn’t get that promotion
- important events happen without you
- you’re recovering from an accident
- your finances drain to nothing
Those kinds of seasons make you feel as if you’re in the wrong place at the wrong time and have missed out on something you would have enjoyed.
Nobody likes to miss out on life’s great happenings. Nobody enjoys being unable to spend time with loved ones.
Unlikeable days like that have happened to me every time I was expecting one of my four children.
I was bedridden from severe morning sickness. I was an invalid instead of taking care of my family. I even had to miss church for months at the beginning of each pregnancy.
During each of those pregnancies, I missed out on a lot. I heard all about the fun events, how fabulous all the people looked, and how fantastic the decor was. I would sadly look at the photos and cry because I missed out.
The really bad part? It affected my relationship with God. I wasn’t thriving in Christ in the face of my disappointments.
Cheating on God
I was driving down the road, worship music playing, dressed nice, makeup on, hair fixed, and wearing a pleasant expression. If anyone in the next lane looked my way it would have appeared that nothing was wrong, but on the inside, my heart was in turmoil. I tried to engage my heart in worship, but God felt…distant.
My thoughts flashed back to a season I experienced as a very young adult when it was early in my full pursuit of Him, and He wooed me with His sweet presence. It was so gentle. He would answer me immediately on any question I wondered. His presence would meet me strongly at the very first minute of calling His name. I felt Him. I savored His goodness.
My heart began longing for that kind of season again. It had been months since I had felt Him, or received an immediate response to my inquiries. The inner turmoil made it’s way to being plainly seen on the outside as large teardrops slipped slowly down my cheek.
“God, why can’t we go back to that season?”
“Because you’re not ready yet,” He replied gently.
My heart sunk, but I knew He was right. I had run. Our relationship had suffered, and it was my fault.
I was mad with God because I missed out on “life.” I would never get those days back.
I remembered a case of adultery between a husband and wife I had heard about that were eventually healed and reunited. A beautiful, yet raw story of how God can bring change. Before the reconciliation, there was a period of healing. In the same way, God showed me that I wasn’t ready because I needed to heal.