The Challenge to Overcome Grief at Christmas


There are certain days that come with automatic results. Christmas is one of those days. It is unforgettable because of its importance around the entire world. It’s Christmas.

It’s always in the memory bank because we know it’s coming. We have celebrated this holiday our entire lives. It is fixed in our childhood memories. It is a major part of our American culture. It is driven to the forefront of our minds by billboards, newspapers, commercials, and retailers.

Christmas. How do we get away from it? Not sure we can.

Then the unthinkable happens in the midst of the unforgettable. We lose a loved one. Not only is this traumatic but we fatally lost them during the Christmas season.

Now we have that constant nagging reminder. It’s Christmas, and everybody is happy. Everybody is singing Joy to the World and I am grieving.

Grieving. It’s real. It’s hard. Maybe you are facing the constant question, “How are you?” A reply may be, “Do you really want to know?” Answers may include: I feel confusion. I am lost. I compare. I am confused. I am depressed. I have a lack of care for my own life. That’s the truth of the matter.

As a Pastor I have been personally involved in this very difficult scenario and this blog is not complete in all the answers and neither am I an expert in this field.


My greatest suggestion on this matter is to be a good listener rather than an advisor or Bible thumper.


People that are burdened with grief need friends more than they need answers. And not just occasional friends, but friends that are consistent and stay connected for the long haul.

While grieving the loss of a loved one is hard enough, there are some things we must do to reach for healing. God never designed us to walk alone even when it feels like a better choice. Isolation is one of those things that feels so right, but is most often the very wrong thing to consistently choose.

So here are my suggestions for walking through grief during the Christmas season.jesus


  1. Tune in to the Real Reason of Christmas

There is no Christmas without Christ. So skip the marketing and the commercialism and reach for the healing hand of our Lord and Savior. This is the most important suggestion of this list.


  1. Resist Isolation

Allow people into your pain. Cry and talk. Laugh and share. Allow pain to be your healer. Tears often wash away the grief and laughter is good medicine especially at this point in the journey. Resist pushing people away. It’s a trap!


  1. Solicit Prayer from Friends

It is amazing what prayer can do. Prayer can do what God can do. People often lose a measure of their faith during grieving. I have heard many say, “I just cannot pray right now.”   If this is true, then ask others to pray for you.


  1. Force Yourself out of House

Many people in grief believe that they should not have any fun and yet others feel guilty if they do. Even though this is quite difficult for many, it is often a remedy of breakthrough. So, force yourself to have fun. It might just be what you need to break out of depression, guilt, or permanent grief.


  1. Find a Grieving Counselor

Counselors can do amazing things. Just the sharing and the connection alone can do wonders. Certified counselors are equipped with materials, practical suggestions, and events that can assist and shorten the grieving process. I highly recommend a good counselor for situations like grief, divorce, and other personal losses.

I realize these suggestions are quite simple but I have found these simple steps to bring profound results.

What would you suggest for someone going through grief?

In the comments section share the things that have worked for you.

See you next time.








About the author : Thomas McDaniels

Thomas McDaniels

Pastor Thomas hosts The Pastors Life Blog at He is the Founding and Lead Pastor at LifeBridge Christian Center in Longview, Texas. Pastor Thomas is an author, blogger, and an avid Twitter contributor. You can also connect with him at Twitter at

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