Now, let’s start with you, Unworthiness!
The devil is a liar, and unfortunately a powerful liar. Jesus called him “the Father of lies.” He is real, and he starts early in our lives, planting seeds of unworthiness, fear, rejection, abandonment, identity, confusion, discouragement, and victimhood. He comes only to kill, steal and destroy. John 10:10
So we are going to start from the beginning of this list of issues above and work our way through it over the next several months.
I like to share my testimony with you because the Bible clearly says “We overcome the enemy by the blood of the Lamb (JESUS) and the word of our testimony” Revelation 12:11
It was a few months …
into my “walking through the fear of marriage with God,” as I found myself laying on the floor crying. Hard.
I heard The Spirit of God (Holy Spirit) softly whisper to my heart “Lindsay, it’s up to you, you know that marriage is not all rainbows and puppy dogs but you have to decide, do you want to get married or not?” I had a sense; he was asking me.
It was one of the most painful experiences to actually dig into my soul and ask myself, “was I willing to TRUST in this area?” This area that for some reason was hardest for me? My heart!
The fear was SO deep, the fear of marriage that is, well the fear was really of abandonment and rejection. I thought if I got married, I would risk being abandoned and/or rejected, so it kept me from wanting to get married. But we will get to those (abandonment and rejection) later.
38 years of believing lies and they were deep and holding on with everything. It hurt, bad, but after a tear-filled evening, I got it out, “yes, Lord, even if it is hard, I do desire to be married.”
That was two years ago and that evening broke something deep within my soul. And at the same time started something. An even deeper healing of sorts, led by the Lord.
I completely recognize that some of you are thinking “that’s nice for you Lindsay, but I have been praying for my husband for 40 years.”
And I hear you, I have dear, dear friends who would say just that, and they are AMAZING catches for some SMART MAN some day! But see the lie can sneak in, it can hold us back in all kinds of different ways.
I share my story because I don’t pretend to know everyone’s, but if you want to share yours, email me!
ok, back to the story!
A few weeks later, as I was boarding a plane, I heard a still small voice say “it was just good old fashion unworthiness Lindsay.” I didn’t even ask a question, but the words just came to me.
I stopped half way down the aisle of the plane and thought to myself, ” Wait, WHAT?” WHAT?”
I was shaking.
I wanted to scream “THE DEVIL IS A LIAR!!!!!!!!”
I couldn’t believe yet again; I had fallen for such a SIMPLE lie for 38 YEARS.
I had asked the question a thousand times before; “why-why-why am I so scared of marriage, men and relationships?”
And it was at that moment; He chose to show me and I couldn’t comprehend how it could be so simple.
“Unworthiness, Unworthiness, that is the reason for the trauma and torment I have been through all these years, UNWORTHINESS?”
A simple, seemingly insignificant thing like unworthiness had held me captive ALL THESE YEARS.
I was speechless. The “issue” seemed so complex to me, “it couldn’t be that simple I thought.”
But here is the thing:
the devil is a liar and I hate him. And that is why I come to you with this little story.
I am tired of the lies holding people captive, making them believe things that JUST AREN’T TRUE.
I know the feeling of lies FEELING really real, but friends, if what we hear or think about ourselves doesn’t line up with what our Father in Heaven says that we are through Jesus Christ, it just isn’t true. I want to encourage you to seek the Lord, your loving Heavenly Father and ask Him.
“Father, is unworthiness something I struggle with?
shhhhhhhhhh, just listen.
Let your AMAZING Heavenly Father tell you if maybe you believe you are UNWORTHY of what you truly desire, it could be hindering you, if it is hiding within you.
The Bible says “His sheep hear His voice.” I believe that means, His sheep, us, hear His voice, Him.
One thing I have ZERO doubt about is, Jesus came to set you FREE.
Then you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.”
And the truth is, YOU.ARE.WORTHY!
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