How many of you thought I was going to say “beast”? Be honest. Well to avoid a Disney lawsuit I have a different word… Schlub. Yes, it’s a real word. In fact, I have been wrestling with this for over a week and this morning the flood gates opened.
What started it all was thinking about the next couple of years with Shelby. Her leukemia treatment is in phase 3 (which is the last intense phase). In several weeks she will be begin the 2 year maintenance phase, and that’s when her day to day life we get back to a more normal schedule. As normal as normal can be for a 16 year old girl that is.
Here’s the thing that struck me – Dating! All of that has really been put on hold over the last several months. She was not big on dating, didn’t need a boy to make her feel special, doesn’t care about the social pressures of dating. She has dated a few boys in her teen years and they were good Christian kids too. As a parent, it was kind of cute. This is 16. This is high school. Dad is thinking a little too much all the sudden. This is where the word schlub came in… girls find guys that remind them of their fathers. Schlub. Does she remember THAT guy?
Alright, to my defense, that is not who I am. But for the first SEVERAL years of my adult life, marriage, even parenting – that word might be closer to home than I want to think. I might have been looking to work as little as possible and be a bum the rest of the time. I knew how to work hard, just chose not to if at all humanly possible. If she is going to one day settle down with a guy like her father, that’s not the one I hope for her.
What really blew this up today was in my daily reading: “Then Judas Iscariot, one of the twelve disciples, went to the leading priests and asked, “How much will you pay me to betray Jesus to you?” And they gave him thirty pieces of silver. From that time on, Judas began looking for an opportunity to betray Jesus.” (Matthew 26:14-16) See the word “asked” there… he went to them! Boom. I have always focused on what came next, never really noticing (shame on me) that he sought out the betrayal and pay off. It’s not like they came to him. This is where the word schlub raced back into my mind.
How many times in the BC life did I opt for the easy way, the fast money, the path of least resistance – all along looking out for me and me alone? How many people did I impress with my slick words and politeness, just to look out for only my best interests? Was I like Judas?
I can say undeniably that God used Judas for His mission. Jesus saw the real Judas and told him so (we all need someone that will call us out). It’s a hard place to do a comparison because on one front there had to be a Judas. On the other end, Jesus (in death) paid for the sins of Judas. Sadly Judas never had time for a rebirth in his life; instead choosing to end his.
I am thankful that I had the opportunity to end my Judas life several years ago. It ended with a decision and was publicly proclaimed through the act of baptism. It’s great to know that when we do end that life, rather than hanging on a rope, we can be reborn and come up from the water with that New Life in Christ ahead for eternity.
I do not dwell on the past and I hope this post doesn’t make you do that either. But see – God can use the Judas, the Schlub! We must learn from our mistakes and the mistakes of others. By sharing, I am hoping that someone reading this can learn something from the schlub of old. Just like my story, this story is still being written. Look for more “Beauty and the…” coming soon. I have a feeling He has a lot more planned for this.